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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24627136">Engorgio!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/idanato/pseuds/idanato'>idanato</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, F/M, FE3H Kinkmeme, Post Time Skip, Strap-Ons, bedroom magic, exceedingly silly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:47:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,657</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24627136</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/idanato/pseuds/idanato</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix and Annette learn why you don't mess with sex toys sold by the Dark Merchant. </p><p>[Kinkmeme fill]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Annette Fantine Dominic/Felix Hugo Fraldarius</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>FE3H Kink Meme</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Engorgio!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've never felt inspired by the kinkmeme but this spoke to me, sorry if it's just funny and not sexy, I laughed a lot.</p><p>Kink meme prompt:<br/>Felix asks to get pegged. Once Annette wears the strap, Felix mentions he thought it'd be bigger. Annette, ever enthusiastic and helpful, declares she will enlargen it with magic! She messes up and it becomes comically HUGE. She starts flailing around trying to fix it, but instead she smacks everything but Felix in the room, breaking everything. Felix is somehow extremely endeared by this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Felix wasn't used to being all nerves but in this moment he felt like he was on the edge of the battlefield waiting in the fog, not supine on their bed waiting for Annette to arrive into the dimly lit room. Her silhouette was framed by the light coming in from the hall as she leaned an elbow against the doorway. Her other hand played with the ties of her robe, “Hey there, uh, hot stuff.”</p><p>Felix propped his head up and couldn’t help the small grin that turned up his lips as he looked at her. “Hot stuff?”</p><p>“I don’t know, um, you’re going to be trembling whimpering stuff when I’m through with you!” Her threats were softened by love and the trepidation of trying something new to the both of them.</p><p>He could see the outline of <em>it</em>, hidden beneath the robe. She followed his stare and cocked an eyebrow, “Oh you want to meet my little friend?”</p><p><em>Little?</em>  “Uh, yeah,” said Felix as he started to idly stroke himself in anticipation.</p><p>Annette began to hum a suggestive little number as she teasingly unfurled the ties. She displayed a shoulder first, which, if this were court would be quite scandalous, but this was their bedroom and Felix was caught between wanting to enjoy her little strip tease and the hunger of seeing her nude. She bit her lip in her typical cute way as she flashed him her ankle and Felix had to stop himself from growling for her to get on with it.</p><p>The robe slipped from her shoulders and the silk pooled upon the floor by her feet. Felix’s gaze descended from her face, down her chest, past her naval, and to the strap-on. The tiny, itty-bitty, little strap-on.</p><p>Annette clapped her hands and did an exaggerated hip wiggle, sending the toy spinning like a propeller, “Ta-daaaa.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s it?” Felix sat up in the bed and squinted at the strap-on adorning her pelvis.</p><p>“Yes, this is it!” She adjusted the harness awkwardly as she walked towards him, the fake cock barely bobbing and bumping into her legs. She put one foot up on the bed and swept her hands across the expanse of her inner thigh, “Are you not turned on?”</p><p>Felix blustered, this was Annette, obviously he was excited. He gestured with own hard dick, “I’m turned on, I’m just, I thought it would be bigger.”</p><p>Annette stole a glance down at her fake member, “Oh, I thought this one looked proportional to me.” She was a very tiny lady.</p><p>“It is, I love you, I’m sure it’s fine, it’s just I don’t know, this is probably fine for our first time,” stumbled Felix as he wished she’d just toss him on all fours already.</p><p>“Plus your ass is so small—”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure it stretches,” said Felix in a hurry as he knelt and exposed the love of his life to his recently manicured asshole. He’d been preparing for this ever since he finally drunkenly confessed a desire to try this after hearing Sylvain go on and on and on about how Mercie was railing him every night. Annette had enthusiastically agreed, and here they were, ready to go.</p><p>“No, if it’s not right I want to make it perfect,” said Annette getting a little upset with the implications that she hadn’t selected a big enough penis. He knew how absolutely nervous she had been getting dragged to the adult store by Mercedes. She had probably fretted the whole time over picking the right one.</p><p>“It’s fine, let’s just do it,” begged Felix. He was afraid he was going to chicken out if they kept dancing around the act and a Fraldarius never surrendered.</p><p>“Okay, uh, here comes the finger,” said Annette menacingly as she teased it between his cheeks trying to find his entrance. “Oh wait, better take off my wedding ring, wouldn’t want to lose that!” She quickly cast aside her rings to the night stand and then came behind him. “Okay Annie, you’ve got this.” She took hold of Felix’s hips and lightly did a few test thrusts just to get her bearings.</p><p>The strap-on was so small Felix could barely feel it and it wasn’t even in his ass yet, “Annie, stop.” His own erection was dying from disappointment.</p><p>“Oh no, what?” He could hear the panic in her voice like when she didn’t get a perfect on an exam administered by their professor.</p><p>“I really thought it would be bigger,” grumbled Felix with disappointment in himself for being so hung up on size. He rolled on his back and stared at his wife.</p><p>“I can fix this,” promised Annie. “I’ll just use a spell of engorgement.”</p><p>“Does that work on an inanimate object?”</p><p>“Hey size queen, do you want this big dick or not?” Annette got scary when she was determined to solve a problem. Before he could stop her she was casting, <em>Engorgio</em>, and the strap-on gave a ominous whine.</p><p>Felix squinted as it went from a measly four inches, to a mighty...four and a half. He locked eyes with Annette and shook his head, “Bigger.”</p><p>“You got it,” smiled Annette easily as she concentrated. The fake cock made some more questionable noises as it stretched to seven inches.</p><p>Felix held up a hand, that seemed like a lot to him. “Does it look proportional to you?” Felix thought it looked a little thin.</p><p>“Oh, you want some girth in here baby?” Annette closed her eyes as she concentrated.</p><p>“Now we’re talking,” said Felix with satisfaction as the strap on thickened slightly. Now it looked like a manageable big cock. Felix got back into position.</p><p>Annette moved with more confidence as she finally committed to sending her finger into his asshole. Felix shuddered as she started to work him. Sylvain was not joking about how this felt. Felix’s ears were filled with sounds of the lube squishing and slushing. Yet there was another faint noise, a squeal almost, of something bending and shifting that was not the bed. Felix started to get lost in the feeling of Annette beginning to stretch him open and ignored the unusual sound.</p><p>“You’re doing so well honey,” said Annette brightly as she slowly removed her fingers, “You ready for a nice big Annie surprise?” He could hear her cringing at her own lines, but they were just part of her charm.</p><p>Felix gasped as something heavy hit the inside of his knee, “Is that your foot?”</p><p>“What—” Annette let out a frightened gasp. “Oh, oh no.”</p><p>The strap-on had kept growing, and now it was easily the length of Annie’s thigh and just as thick. “Oh goddess no!” She jumped back from him and Felix watched in shock as she stumbled to support the weight of the now ominously large strap on sausage.</p><p>It seemed to move of its own accord and in the dim light Felix swore he locked eyes with the carved eye at the tip of the head. It looked suspiciously like an Agarthan symbol, “Where did you get this thing?”</p><p>“The dark merchant,” cried Annie in distress as she tried to turn around and ended up obliterating their shoe rack.</p><p>Things were taking a turn for the worst. This was a dark magic tool, not a sexy pleasure toy. “We need to get it off you,” said Felix in a panic as all sense of wanting expired from his core.</p><p>“No! I need to get you off,” complained Annie. “I can fix this.”</p><p>Whatever spell she did had the opposite effect and the cock began to grow faster. “Oh shit,” muttered Annie and she started to fall forward from the mighty weight of it pulling her to the floor. She grabbed onto the nearest bit of furniture and sent a floor lamp tumbling to the ground. Thankfully they had not lit it or the place would be up in flames.</p><p>From the light coming in from the hall he saw Annie trying to support a nearly Annie sized strap-on that showed no signs of slowing down. She was too forward heavy, “My center of gravity, no!” She smashed the antique trunk Grandma Galatea had given them as a wedding gift before stumbling right into their wardrobe.</p><p>Felix sprung to action and grabbed full body around the now massive cock. He desperately climbed it trying to get to his wife. Annie was suspended in the air, no longer able to get her feet on the ground as the cock grew and grew.</p><p>“Felix, I’m so sorry,” cried Annie and he wrestled with the leather straps. The dick was rapidly filling the room instead of his ass.</p><p>Felix cradled Annie in his arms as they slid down the shaft towards the ground. “We have to escape or it’s gonna smother us.”</p><p>The bed exploded in protest as it was crushed by the now whale sized strap-on. Safe in the hall, Felix gently set Annie on her feet, “Oh noo! What if it just keeps growing?”</p><p>“Can you stun it, or kill it?” From the sounds it was making, the cock monster nearly sounded alive.</p><p>Annie squeezed her tearing eyes closed as she cast Sagittae into the room. The cock stopped its rampage and began keening as it whimpered and died. Annie pushed her hair back in exasperation and turned to Felix, “Is it big enough now for you?”</p><p>“Uh well your spell definitely worked,” managed Felix as he brought a lamp into the ravaged room. The strap-on snaked and coiled around their bedroom like some sort of cursed eel creature. Annie let out a whimper and Felix wrapped an arm around her as he smooched her head. “Do we bury it in the back yard?” What did one do with a twenty five foot long and five foot wide strap-on? Fuck a giant? “Actually on second thought, maybe Rhea could take this off our hands—”</p>
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